Battell Two North
Home of the hiLARious
"Frequently" Asked Questions
Q. Is there anything useful on
this "F"AQ page?
A. Why should there be?
Q. What is your hall's "official"
animal?
A. The capybara.
Q. Can a capybara open a Brazil
nut?
A. Yes, it is the only animal that can do so without tools
Q: How the heck do you know that?
A. JS told me. He knows stuff like that.
Q. What is a capybara?
A. Basically a big, cute, random, fluffy rat.
Q. How is that like B2N?
A. Beats me.
Q. Is there a capybara pinata in
existence?
A. Yes, oddly enough.
Q. What is B2N's "official"
color?
A. Purple.
Q. Why?
A. Nicole likes it.
Q. So Nicole runs this place?
A. OK, fine. So some others like it too.
Q. Do you like purple?
A. Sorta. I like blue, black, and silver best.
Q. Why didn't you make the font
on the main page blue then?
A. That may be a good idea in retrospect.
Q. What is the hall movie?
A. We actually got one quite recently. I proposed Princess Bride. Some
rival faction proposed Moulin Rouge but we voted when they weren't
present. We don't have a song though. How about Vamos a la Playa?
Q. Does B2N have a pair of identical
twins born on leap day?
A. Yes.
Q. Wow.
A. Yeah.
Q. Does B2N have a person that
is from Uzbekistan with bright red hair that answers to "Uzi"?
A. Well, his hair is black. He's my roommate.
Q. Does your hall have somebody
that speaks 7 different languages but that still has never left the state
of Vermont?
A. Not to my knowledge
Q. What song is most likely to
get you killed in this hall?
A. "Oh Susanah"
Q. What is the average air speed
velocity of an unladen swallow?
A. What do you mean, African or European?
Q. I don't know that.
A. Good thing you aren't on the bridge of death then.
Q. What are the halls quiet hours?
A. After 11 PM on weekday nights and after 1 AM on weekend nights.
Q. Ha! You said something useful!
A. Darn you, disembodied questioner!
Q. How many people live in B2N?
A. Nice try. I won't give out any more useful statistics.
Q. You know you could go back and
edit the responses, Tim. You could remove the useful information.
A. You could also not say "you." You're the same person I am.
Q. This is weird
A. I'm talking to myself.
Q. Isn't that a sign of insanity?
A. Yes.
Q. Just what we need.
A. Look, Tim, just get on with the questions.
Q. Okay. Fine. How many people
juggle in your hall?
A. A lot. Maybe a good quarter of us.
Q. Tell me about the cushion incident
that Ramsey refers to in his message on the sounds
page.
A. That wasn't a question.
Q. You're trying to change the
subject.
A. Oh come on!
Q. You never called me on it before.
Just tell me.
A. Look. You have no proof.
Q. Is it true that the walls in
the B2N hall are just far enough apart for a tall person to climb around like
Spiderman?
A. Yes. It's lots of fun, but Mark and I aren't the only ones who can do that.
Swinging on the pipe is more accessible. We've yet
to trigger the fire sprinklers.
Q. Does B2N have any pets?
A. Yes. A pet fish named monkey.
Q. What's up with the capital letters
in the middle of "hiLARious"?
A. We actually talk like that. I'm SERious. The overemphasis is great.
Q. What about a hall slang phrase?
A. The phrase is "wicked Sheena." It's like a superlative of of
the slang "wicked." This never caught on.
Q. Did you ever go to the Grille
to get Love Me Tenders (the chicken sandwiches) at about 11 PM and tell "Your
mom" jokes for about three hours straight when you hadn't really started
the 5-7 page paper due the next day?
A. Again you have no proof (except photographic evidence,
but I'm not in it anyway). Besides, it was just a draft and it turned out
well.
Q. Why did you make this website?
A. For kicks and giggles?
Q. Where's Mark's quote about the
prom dress? Where's Nicole's "Your dad" comment?
A. I have a little sister (Hi Ang!) that could find it if I put on this quote
page.
Q. Who has the coolest room
layout?
A. Josh and Brian. It's riDICulous
Q. Who has the comfiest
chair?
A. Merissa
Q. Who's the dorm rascal?
A. Nicole. No doubt.
Q. Is there anything else I should
ask about?
A. Yes
Q. What?
A. Ask about my speakers?
Q. Oh yeah. Tim, do you have a
mad 'woofer?
A. You'd better believe it!
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